So as some of you may or may not know. I was writing everyday a while back, that slowly came to a halt as my motivation just vanished and I was sooo behind on days. Anyway I feel like I’m starting/have started a new Chapter in my life.
What a year 2020 has been so far ay?
It’s been a crazy bloody year so far, truly no-one could have guessed half the shit that has happened. Coronavirus/Covid-19 has put a halt to many things, including alot of businesses; which is really shit. Boris Johnson was delayed in his actions. Lockdown should have happened sooner, as should have masks being worn in public places. Bit late shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. However he has taken it on the chin and definitely been thrown in at the deep end as Prime Minister. I do not envy him.
Pubs were told on Friday 20th March that as of midnight they had to shut for 12 weeks and then it would be reviewed; to see if they could open again after that time. Well I was working the day shift, we all heard the news and it was gutting. Then and there I decided I was going to stay for a drink when my shift finished. I ended up staying until the pub shut – rightly so, as I wasn’t going to see my pub family for ages!
Fast forward 5 days and I had already found another job. I’d bagged myself a job at One Stop; happy days😄! Money was definitely needed as Mum and I were the only two able to work at that time.
Dave and Freddie furloughed us (as in all the staff) which was great and HUGELY appreciated. Unfortunately it was based on the last couple of weeks wages/pay slips. Just prior to Coronavirus, I had been running the pub for 2 weeks; thus doing less shifts than usual, as I had to be the manager/the second person if it got busy. Due to this my furlough money was less than what I’d usually earn, BUT I was extremely happy to be receiving any sort of money; especially as I thought I was out of work for the foreseeable.
Anyhoo, I felt like I fit in really well and rather quickly at One Stop. I felt comfortable from the start, despite the fact I suffer from anxiety, I rarely get nervous or anxious (in situations like this).
Continued……
Okay so as you can tell I started writing this blog earlier in the year. Here we are now, the last day of 2020. What a fucking year ay? I cannot believe how much has happened throughout this year. Guys we have lived through/are living through a world wide pandemic – how nuts is that🤯.
This year has been a tough one for everyone. I haven’t been able to see my Dad or my nephew for the majority of this year; and it is killing me💔. Like, it physically hurts. This is the longest I have gone without seeing my nephew Joseph in the 5 (nearly 6) years of his life!! Prior to Covid-19 the longest we had spent apart was two weeks. In fact thinking about it, it’s the exact same thing with my Dad! I have NEVER gone this long without seeing him. It’s so shit.
My mind is going all over the joint, so excuse me while this blog jumps from one subject to another just like my mind does😁. So I started my temporary part time job at One Stop. I was thankful that I was still able to work in these tough times. Especially as soooo many people have lost their jobs this year😔. After a while the pubs re-opened, I was happy to see my pub family all be it from a distance. It was strange not having my regulars sit around the bar. It was quite lonely, as they were all spread out amongst different tables, away from the bar. So being part of the conversation was definitely more difficult. Alas I was just happy to see them all if I’m honest. It’s mad how much I missed their faces in 12 weeks.
*I was extremely lucky to be working two jobs during a section of the pandemic. One Stop asked if I would stay on as a permanent member of staff. This is where my mind went into overdrive as I felt as though I was torn between two places. I’ve spent just short of 5 years at The Nags, it was my first ever job. It had become another home, the staff and customers had become my second family. I had managed to ‘work my way up’ (to a degree) as Fred and Dave asked me to manage the pub in their absence; several times. At the age of 21 I was running a pub. Now back then it was just yeah cool, I’m so glad they trusted me enough to leave their home and business in my hands. After speaking to a few people it’s actually dawned on me that I was managing a pub at the age of 21!! Madness. How awesome is that!! (My therapist back then said I should be very proud of that. I’ve learnt to be over the last 2 years).
Anyway after much deliberation, and I’m not afraid to admit I cried over trying to make these decisions. My anxiety was HIGH AS F###, I didn’t want to let anyone down. I didn’t want to upset anyone. I didn’t want to leave anyone in the lurch or leave anyone short staffed. Etc etc etc. Long story short I ended up accepting the job at One Stop and handing in my notice at the pub. The thing that swung it was that, if I accepted the job at One Stop I’d start paying tax and national insurance, which I hadn’t done during my time at the pub. I decided I’m 25 and I need to have a ‘footprint’ and start paying in to the system. I’ve had a job since I was 20 and haven’t paid anything. *This is where I was working the two jobs*
I worked a months notice at the pub and then before I knew it that was last orders for me💔.
My last ever customer at The Nags was the delightful Di, she even caught the last ‘transaction’ on Camera🥰. I was absolutely heartbroken that I couldn’t have leaving drinks due to bloody Covid-19. I said that I’d wait until next year to have a leaving do…. well at this rate I may have to wait until 2022🤦♀️. I damn right REFUSE to not have a leaving do after being one of (if not the) longest serving barmaids😂. I put up with too much shit to not have a drink up🤣.
I enjoy my job at One Stop, and it is nice to work with others for a change. At The Nags I was always working alone, well not when I first started as there used to be two of us on every Friday and Saturday night🌙; but not so much in the recent years.
I am trained (and have been for a while now) to be able to work on the Post Office. I actually don’t mind it, it usually (but not always) makes time pass. Only two down sides I’ve found so far are my crappy joints don’t like standing in the same spot for hours. Yet they also don’t like moving about for hours – I can’t win🤷♀️😂. The other down side is stroppy customers; which tend to happen more on Post Office rather than the tills.
I’ll be honest with you, I’ve still not adjusted to not being able to swear and not being able to tell people what I actually think. I have to bite my tongue 👅 a little bit. Unlike the Pub you can’t tell people to “Fuck off” or “Get out, no more. I’ve had enough of you” etc. Also unlike the Pub you can’t form friends with the regulars. I mean you can but its more a passing ‘hey how are you?’ friend as you walk by one another. Which is a shame as there’s definitely some customers I’d happily go for a drink with.
Like everyone else my family and I have had highs and lows this year. Lots of stuff that is too much to mention. Health wise has been absolutely shit for the majority of us🙄 I won’t go into details as we seriously do not have time. Mum, (in true Mum style) got ill not the week of Christmas like usual…. Instead she had a mini stroke during the first week of December😐 and hasn’t really been feeling the full ticket since. Luckily she still has the use of all her limbs etc. but she is definitely not right still.
Unsurprisingly I’m still struggling with my mental health – Medway Mental Health services are shockingly bad. Sadly I think many many people, even those whom have never suffered mental health issues before; have suffered throughout this pandemic. With all of these lockdowns and restrictions put in place, it’s only natural that peoples mental health would decline.
Sadly we have seen some lovely people depart the earth this year; too many to name. All of which hold a special place in our hearts and will never be forgotten. However we have had the fortune of watching both friends and family grow and/or bring new life into this world🥰 .
The year hasn’t been all bad, it definitely brought the community together. Clapping for key workers, putting rainbows in the windows for families to see, putting teddies in the windows. It has been a year for creativity, the amount of people that I have seen sharing their paintings, drawings, poetry, sewing, knitting, songs, thoughts, feelings etc. is unreal. I have loved seeing, reading and/or listening to all of them. Every single one. People have taken up new hobbies or even returned to old ones. More people on the street have smiled and said hello to one another. Technology; the thing that normally drives us apart has actually brought us closer together via: text messages, photos, videos, phone calls, voice notes, emails, video calls and even through social media. It has allowed families to spend time together that they may not have had if it wasn’t for Covid. It has made people grateful and thankful for the little things they have in life.
Despite Norman (the name I gave to my mental health issues) clouding every day. I am never not thankful for the family and friends I have.
Alas here we are another 365 days done and dusted. Thanks for managing to get through all these rubbish words😂🙈. You deserve a medal🏅. I hope you have a healthy and a happier New Year!
Goodbye to the year Two Thousand and Twenty! 👋
OneDayAtATime 